New Proposed Tory legislation. . . . .

News Item -

Having realized what a terrible thing it is that Michael Ignatieff lived and worked in the US for some time, the Conservative Party of Canada has promised to bring forward legislation that will make it illegal for Canadians in the future to live abroad.

During a stump speech in Unity Saskatchewan Stephen Harper told his rural supporters that "No true Canadian would live abroad and when people do go to other countries they return with dangerously liberal ideas." The audience cheered upon the announcement of the proposed legislation and shouts of "Keep Them Home" could be heard reverberating through the quonset hut on the farm of Alesky Kowalczky, an immigrant from Eastern Europe.

"If Ignatieff was a true Canadian he never would have gone to live and work in the US,"  Mr. Kowalczky said while holding up a Conservative Party sign. "This is another good step forward by Mr. Harper to stop the spread of outside ideas which brought notions like socialsim and the telephone."

When asked about the irony of the fact that he had come here from Eastern Europe, Mr. Kowalczky asked the reporter what "irony" means.

Brian Mulroney, former Conservative Prime Minister, was unavailable for comment as he is presently living in Palm Beach Florida.